I've noticed something since I've been single for a while. I've noticed that I'm much more calm and focused. I'm able to work, to write and do things that I want to do. That isn't usually possible for me when I'm in an emotional/sexual relationship. When I do have a regular girlfriend, I seem to be doing a lot of things to make her happy, and a lot less things that make me happy.
For a time, I had a fantastic girlfriend that was very wealthy, but she would insist that I not work. She actually thought I would agree to being a kept man, so she tried to pressure me into not working. Of course, it would have meant an easy life with no financial worries, but it would have also meant that I would have been controlled.
A woman I was dating recently would cry at the end of dates. After going out for drinks and dinner, then a movie or tv and then sex, she would cry when I would go back to my place. It didn't make sense after it kept happening. I mean, it is understandable to be disappointed when someone doesn't stay overnight, but it's nutty to want to be together 24/7.
It's countless experiences like this that have changed my mind about relationships. I love women; the smell of them, the feel of them, the incredible shape of them. I really enjoy being with them, and everything about the experience; not just hanging out, but sex and arguing and being happy - you know, the whole experience. The difference is that I like having a place to go to when I need a break. I think a lot of men feel the same way I do, they want to have a place to go where they can collect their thoughts and have some personal space.
These days men are attacked for this impulse. They are laughed at for wanting a "man cave". It's nothing like wanting to withdraw from society. It's all about having some personal space where you can actually calmly think and be by yourself. Men don't want to do things that women want to do all the time; they don't want to be family men all the time. There has to be a release, a respite from the ordinary life. I think the absence of this makes it so much more appealing for men to cheat or have some secret double life that gives them some kind of adventurous experience.
The more men are denied personal space and time, the more they are going to fight commitment and relationships and continue being players and renegades.
